Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A cynical attack on my classmates.

I wrote this for my intro to creative writing class about two years ago while sitting in the courtyard at SFASU. There is a fountain/statue of Stephen F. Austin poised on a surfing star in the middle of the courtyard; it serves as the centerpiece to most of the social interaction on campus. Although this is certainly one of my sloppier poems I did some editing just now; I think it improved it some. Let me know what you think and enjoy (unless you happen to be one of the groups of people I am referring too, in that case what are you doing here? lol)

The Shallow Charade

A posse of prim prey
chatters by with their superficial
smiles and "Oh, my God, really?"
On a star across the yard stands
a darker gent, alone, with a coat
of bronze and a triumphant pose.

Then a herd of all identical brutes,
clad in caps and flip-flops approaches
the prim posse and the ritual begins.
After some "You hittin' up da club tonight?"
and "Ya, totally." fired back in response,
the brutes beat their chests in a display
of power and the prims, giggling, flaunt
their colorful plumage. Shortly after
the shallow charade concludes.

One tribe wanders off to go practice
remedial math, while the other
is undoubtedly off to memorize
the Greek alphabet. The lone one stands,
silently still as I, except I am
observing, and he isn't even there.

By: T.J. Seale
Copyright 2007 Thomas Taylor


  1. Ah, college days! Takes me back. Nice poem.

  2. "One tribe wanders off to go practice
    remedial math,"--hit me on the jaw with this one Thomas--I love the return to realism here. The way the piece starts, I can't tell if I'm outside a saloon or a club in Paris---brilliant! Oh, and I told the others about you too, I'm trying to connect all of the writers and poets in our circle of blogs--I'll make a bigger announcement on Sunday! Cheers!

  3. And this is at a college??? Seems to me the conversation might as well have taken place in a high school setting...

    well chosen words to relay this.

  4. Dear Seale, your poem is very visual and musical, because it is possible to hear the sounds of it.
    Nice post! Carry on writing!

    Best wishes,

  5. Sue- Yes indeed, the things we learn at college. Thanks Susan.

    Clay- I'm glad to make you laugh, and as to the latter: that sounds great, thanks a lot, it will be to awesome to have an outlet for us to exchange ideas.

    Wingsearcher- College = High School 2.0 these days; there is no classical learning anymore. In high school we learn survival skills; in college we learn that those skills apply to the rest of life. Thanks for dropping in wings.

    Rosana- Thanks for the read, was my first poem to use speech in, I'm glad you liked it.

    Take care all.

  6. Every tribe of our species follows its rituals whether that tribe inhabits Wall Street, Main Street, or the Amazon Basin.

  7. Great to 'meet' you. Great poem...I look forward to future readings! Take care!

  8. This is one of my favorites, I think you cleaned it up rather nicely.

  9. 'identical brutes' works for me.

    Writing poetry and prose. That's tough - I respect that.